you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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