next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
