hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I am one with the molecules
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
