I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
