It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
