Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize