My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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