The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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