Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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