we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
