I'm gonna have a badass scar
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
