im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Houston, we have a blender
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
