Me. At least after what I've been through.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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