i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
