So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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