Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
