How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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