so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
