I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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