I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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