She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
