yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
