I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
