just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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