Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
