R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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