Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
