doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
