This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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