I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
