i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize