After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
