Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
