I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
