Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
