Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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