hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
