i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
