just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Even my vagina gasped.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
