I am puke
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
