im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize