Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am puke
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
