Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
and she was petting her beer can
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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