Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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