I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
