It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
