Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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