So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
pop tarts are not kleenex
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Boobs speak an international language.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My life is pants optional.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
