Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
