True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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