That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
