Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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