brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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