hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Drunk is a universal language darling
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
