the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
