here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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