i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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