i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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