There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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