I CAN MOONWALK!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
